What 2011 Taught Me

On this, the first day of the New Year, I thought I would take a few minutes to highlight some things that 2011 taught me.

Sock knitting, like most challenges, gets easier with diligent and perseverant effort.

I have written other posts about my love/hate relationship with sock knitting.  When I first took lessons and constructed my initial pair of socks under supervision, they seemed like fairly easy projects.  Later, however, when I attempted to recreate that experience while flying solo, the second pair ended in moderate disaster.  But as year’s end drew closer, I revisited socks, found some fantastic tutorial videos, and decided to master the technique using double-pointed needles and worsted weight yarn (instead of finer sock yarn) and found great success.  Two pairs completed.

What that experience also gave me was more confidence in now returning to regular sock knitting with smaller needles and yarn because I have been able to practice the basic techniques.  Ultimately, sock knitting is not difficult and unless you are using some fancy pattern, a good solid pair of socks involves knitting and purling and decreases.  My prior problem was stitch positioning using Magic Loop technique and picking up stitches.  DPNs took care of the Magic Loop issue, and the videos got me through picking up stitches.  I think I’m ready to work on more sock projects in the future.

Believing in myself isn’t always easy, but when I do it, I can make my goals come to life.

At 41, I feel good about the place I am at for this point in my life.  But for the last few years I have had a nagging dream to return to college to get my Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing degree.  First, I didn’t believe I could, after being out of college for a very long time, comfortably score well enough on the Graduate Record Exam.  Finally, I took two months to study, scheduled my test appointment, and I did it.  Then, I focused on my portfolio and gathered best practices from friends who are MFA graduates.  In March 2011, I received notification that I had, in fact, been accepted to the MFA program at University of Central Florida.

This milestone was months in the making and represented so much to me and helped me gain confidence I would need to dive in to my studies as the Fall semester began.  I won’t lie and say it was easy.  In fact, my first week I had that moment driving to school one evening where I thought to myself, “What the hell have I done?  What have I signed up for?”  But as I had an opportunity to meet my fellow students and began to actively engage in the learning process, I gained confidence once again and found that I really could do what I had set my mind to.  It was a “Make it work!” moment and that I did.

The sanctity of “marriage” has more to do with who is involved, not whether our legal system accounts for all relationships or not.

On a political note, I think there were even more examples of situations that illuminated that the “sanctity of marriage” as enforced by a law or court ruling has much more to do with the people in the relationship than it does with said law or ruling.  I understand there are benefits and privileges that come with governmentally sanctioned marriages; but ultimately, one of the most important things I learned this year as I celebrated my 10th anniversary with my partner is that we don’t need anyone to “sanction” our relationship as significant, meaningful, special, romantic, or valuable to society.  As one of the characters in “Too Wong Foo…” says, “Your approval is neither desired nor required!”  

Whether the government sanctions or acknowledges my longtime relationship with my partner or not, the reality is that I have this amazing bond with the man I love and who loves me in return.  No political party or government can ever impede on that or take that away from me — but being able to enjoy the over 1,000 benefits and privileges heterosexual couples garner by marrying would certainly be icing on the cake.  (And the best part is that when same-sex marriage eventually passes, nobody currently able to get married loses out on a darn thing!)

For those that claim that allowing same-sex marriage destroys the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman, I simply ask this question:  Would relationships be better in general if we focused on tending to those relationships instead of fighting for something that wouldn’t be lost anyway?  So many opponents fight to maintain the sanctity of marriage – but after any news broadcast it’s easy to wonder what sanctity is there?  Kim Kardashian’s 72-day debacle?  The eventual dissolution between Ashton and Demi?  Political resignations for leaving the country with a girlfriend or sexting naked photos of oneself (and not to one’s spouse)?  

If the propaganda focused more on how to make relationships better across the board (rather than furthering the illusion that one type of relationship is “better” than another) I wonder how much better life would be for everyone.

Happy New Year!

Tags: Reflection